Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Therapy Session

I’ve been in a funk as of late and, since this is my blog to open up if I want…. I’m gonna talk about it. Therapy is now in session.

I was recently informed that a good fellow Christian, who has struggled for several years on her faith, has now conceded that “there is no God.”

That it saddens my heart—or anyone’s for that matter—is not a surprising reaction. What’s been disturbing me goes way deeper than that. This is a woman I met through one of the startup groups in our church. There was a core group of people in our church convicted, even commissioned we felt, to build a group for a specific age group where we could share similar life experiences and pray for each other. During group prayers it seemed that every time this woman opened her mouth and heart to God the Holy Spirit just “wham”… settled over us in a very tangible way. She had a way of expressing herself, and all of our hearts, in prayer that I really admired.

Here’s the rub. How can anyone experience the overpowering love of God and, I truly believe, overwhelming evidence of God’s existence dismiss it all like that? Only God knows her true heart; but it certainly makes you wonder… was she ever really saved? Is she still saved? Can anyone be truly on fire for God and then quench those passions to the point of non-existence? To an even greater degree…it makes me question the validity of what I’m feeling in those moments of prayer. Maybe I’m just emotionally charged and it’s not the Holy Spirit at all. Perhaps what I hear and believe to be truth is simply someone expressing themselves in a very articulate way.

This is a spiritual thorn for me. I feel like my discernment has been challenged. I begin to question what is real, what is holy, what is truth. I know in my head that I need to be all the more in prayer and seeking God’s wisdom… but my heart doesn’t always follow suit with my head.

Now I’ve spent my whole life asking God “Why?…Where?...Show me…How come?...Are You there?...” and on and on I seek and question. Yet I don’t see my lack of conclusions or answers to be evidence of God’s absence. I still feel loved and acknowledged as a created being.

When I’m confronted with situations like this, it is a reminder that my faith needs to pick up where my emotions, even intellect, leave off. I need to find the time to get in one accord with God and find that connection… that spiritual connection. That connection which transcends emotions and thoughts.

Yeah, I’m struggling with this one alright… but I know I have a God, a personal God, a real God that’ll get me through this. Your prayers are certainly welcomed.

Session over.

Greg A. Morton
© 6-03-08
Posted by GregGMPro at 7:55 AM

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Greg, I enjoy your writings. What I struggle with in a situation like this is why God has seemingly left the door open for people to rationally (arguably) examine the evidence and come to the conclusion that He doesn't exist or to question if the Bible is His word or not. I also have a friend from high school who went in the same direction as the one you are writing about.

Here's what I wonder...why hasn't God made it so obvious that He exists and what He expects of us that the question of His existence wouldn't even be an issue at all? An example from an article I read compared God to the IRS. No one questions whether the IRS exists or not...it's pretty obvious. It clearly doesn't take away free will. Some choose to pay their taxes honestly, others choose to cheat, and other choose to evade taxes altogehter. But no one questions the existence of the agency itself.

Clearly God could eliminate all doubt of His existence if He wanted to...right?

September 10, 2008 at 12:00 PM
GregGMPro said...

Hi Nino –

Thanks for the feedback. My hope is to have my writings be thought-provoking and your comments are exactly what I relish.

You know, I think bottom line people must acknowledge there is a God even if they say otherwise. I honestly can’t comprehend someone believing we are a random act of evolving nature. I believe that in people’s heart of hearts—perhaps way deep in unexplored areas—they must have a knowing there was a master designer to all of this. For a created being to dismiss having a creator…. well, like I said; I just can’t wrap my brain around it. That said, there are clearly people out there—as you and I both mentioned—that seemingly feel there is no God. And, of course, struggling to even grasp that perspective makes it all the more difficult to defend my beliefs. It’s like trying to find common ground when two people are on complete different planes of thought.

I love, love, love the IRS analogy. It fits perfectly with the reality of how people deal—or don’t deal—with their belief in God. Honestly, I don’t see how God can make it any more clear to His creation that He started it all. I can, however, see why some question God’s intervention (or the seeming lack of it) when this world is so unfair and confusing. I just thank God every day that I’m not going through all this craziness alone and that there is a greater reward far beyond this planet.

Thanks again for your insight and sharing your thoughts. Blessings on you and your family!

Greg

September 11, 2008 at 8:07 AM

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